Posts Tagged ‘Love’

I have a friend who is doing the 40-day love challenge, which is based off of the movie “Fireproof”. Today’s posting was about love being a choice. It says:

“Love is Faithful (Hosea 2:20). Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, ‘I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.’” (The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick)

I really like this definition of what love is. It’s a choice. And the great thing about it is, while this is written specifically for married couples, this principle applies in any relationship, whether it’s with a friend, colleague, child, or even an enemy. Love is a choice. It means, even if I don’t particularly like someone, I still treat them well. It means, even when my child says she hates me, I tell her “I love you” in return.

When I look at love as a choice rather than a feeling, it puts a whole new perspective on things. Feelings are not something you can really control. Feelings can change. Feelings lie. But, when I make a choice to show love, I am doing that whether I feel like loving or not. I do it whether I like someone or not. Love is a choice.  1 John 4:7&8 says,

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love” (NASB).

We are commanded to love one another. God’s Word doesn’t say love each other if you feel like loving each other. It doesn’t say love each other if they treat you well. It says love one another. Why? Because God loves us. This verse is specifically talking to Christians loving each other, but what about those who are not considered brothers and sisters in Christ? What about those who are doing things that God’s Word indicates are wrong? What does God say about that? Are we to hate them? Are we to be vindictive?

I think most of us would know that the answer to those questions is “no.” We’re not to hate them. In fact in Matthew 5, Jesus says,

“You have heard that it was said, ‘ You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” (vss 43-46, NASB)

In a parallel passage in Luke 6, Jesus says,

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (vss 27-36, NASB)

We are not only commanded to love those who are lovable, but to love those who are easy to hate – those who hurt us and use us. That’s so hard. My first instinct is not to show people like that love. But we are commanded to love. So, love is a choice. I can choose to be kind, or I can choose to be unkind. I can choose to react out of anger, or I can choose to calmly respond with kindness. I can love or I can hate. Today, I choose love.

Your turn! What is your opinion about love? Is it a choice or is it something you have no control over?  How do you show love when others are not?  I would love to hear from you!

~Until Next Time,

Karen Signature

 

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Question MarkSo, here I am in Bath, NY, sitting in my hotel room after a morning of worship at my friend’s church. I expected to like it. I mean, what’s not to like about church? Personally, I generally love church. It’s probably the reason I spend so much time at mine. But what I didn’t expect was to hear the Lord speak to me through the words of another woman sharing her story. I expected to hear God’s Word today, and I got that. I expected to get something from the sermon, and I did get a little from that. The real wisdom, however, came from the words of this woman’s story.

I knew walking into the room, that I was going to hear a testimony today. I thought I was prepared to hear it – and to some extent I was. I didn’t expect to be in tears throughout it. I didn’t expect to learn anything profound from it. I didn’t expect to relate. I mean, my life is so totally different from the lives of these women – and yet, it is so surprisingly similar. This woman, this beautiful, kind, friendly woman, shared about the love of our Lord and what He has done in her life. She shared her good, but she shared her sorrow over the death of her beautiful baby boy as well. And she said, “If I were given the choice to have him back, but my husband and I to not be where we are at with God today, I’d say no.” She shared that God had used the sorrow to bring them closer together and make them stronger in the Lord and with each other. And so, as difficult as that was (and I’m sure still is), she calls it all good because of of how God has used it to help her grow.

I’ve never really looked at how the bad in my life has been used for good. Well, that’s not entirely true. I have, but I’ve never been able to reconcile myself to the fact that I had to go through it to get to where I am at today with God. But, looking back, I have to say, God has used every “bad” event in my life to bring me closer to Him. There are things that I have railed at God for and begged Him to take away. Things I have said, “Why me? Why do I have to go through this?” Or “Why now, God? Why does this have to happen now?” And I don’t think it’s wrong to ask why. But that brings me to the part of her story that made me think. It wasn’t so much that I hadn’t heard it before because I have. It was more that it hit me differently today. She said, “We won’t always know why something happens the way it does or why we have to go through something. But God uses those things”(or something to that effect – since I didn’t write it all down, you’ll have to accept my inadequate paraphrase).

The fact of the matter is, I don’t need to know why God allows things to happen. I just need to know that He can use them for good. And by now, you’d think I’d have learned that because I have had so many opportunities to do so. But sometimes I still feel like maybe this will be the time it doesn’t work out for good.

I’m glad that I went to my friend’s church today. I’m glad I got to hear this woman’s story. It affected me far more than she will probably ever know. I hope that I don’t forget the lessons I learned from her.

What about you? Are there things you’re asking God, “Why me?” or Why now?” What do you do remind yourself that these things can be used to grow you and teach you?

~Until Next Time,

Karen Signature