Frustration

Posted: April 13, 2011 in Frustration, Miscellaneous
Tags: , , ,

Tonight I find that I am very frustrated.  My younger daughter, Kayli, is 12 years old.  She’ll be 13 in July.  She is going through this stage where it seems like everything is drama.  Every time she gets “in trouble,” it’s the end of the world.  Every time someone looks at her funny, she throws a fit, and the fighting with her older sister is unbearable at times.  She feels the need to be sarcastic and talk back at the drop of  a hat, and fights doing what she’s been asked to do like she’s being asked to do the impossible.

It’s frustrating for me because it’s when I most need her to be drama-free that she has “one of those days.”  For instance, I need her to pack up her room.  She told me she was all done, but when I went in, she had stuff all over the floor and her bed.  I didn’t even dare look in her closet.  She’s down to 2 days to get done, and she’s fighting it tooth and nail. (So is her sister, but she’s a different story altogether.)  Her reasoning for not packing those things?  “I’m not taking them with me.”

Now, I don’t recall actually giving her a choice.  She apparently thought that if she wasn’t taking them, she didn’t have to pack them.  The reality is, she is taking them.  She just isn’t taking them to where she is going to stay for the last 6 weeks of school.  Apparently, I would be packing up for her.  In any case, I’m frustrated.  When I get frustrated, I tend to get angry.  When I get angry, I tend to say things in a way that is less than exemplary.

I feel bad for that because I don’t want my daughter to think it’s right to “blow up” when she’s upset.  I feel it’s healthy to express feelings of anger, but in an appropriate way.  So, I am very frustrated that no matter how hard I try, I always seem to fail in this area.  I often find myself raising my voice, or using words I normally wouldn’t.  There are days that I do ok in this area.  But more often, I fail.  I wish that there was a “shut off” button on my mouth, so I could just walk away and not talk.  But there is something inside me that say “I MUST SAY THIS” and out it pops!

What do you do when you feel like this?  I could use some good practical advice.  Counting to 10 or 100 doesn’t really work for me. Walking away does occasionally, but often not.  So, what other ideas do you have that might be able to help me in this area?

Until Next Time,

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